circumitus: If you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you. (fuck it)
Reybama ([personal profile] circumitus) wrote2012-12-20 05:13 pm

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REY

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foundafamily: (pic#6109478)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-22 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Firo pauses, eyebrow raised because... that's just really weird. He's biased towards Rey, of course, but even so he could never imagine saying something that charitable if someone killed the woman he loved. Forgiveness wouldn't be in the question.

He thinks about it for a long moment, he really does.

Unfortunately, Firo isn't the best person to ask on this. With the proper motivation, he can commit pretty bad crimes without blinking an eye. On the other hand, he thinks little of lugging around guilt that may or may not be deserved for years. It's just how it is. "You could forget all about it. I'm serious. I know you don't like that stuff, but..." He shrugs and takes a drink.

"You're not gonna fix anything by hatin' yourself now. Not for either of you. I mean, maybe she'd feel better if somethin' happened to you, but then I'd have to go and kill her and I don't think you want that."
foundafamily: (pic#6109478)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-23 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
"C'mon, talkin' about it like that--" He waves his hand vaguely, but he means to refer to her simile. "--just makes it more confusing."

He's doing his best, he almost wants to add, but he thinks that bringing up how bad he is at people and their emotions wouldn't really help her right now.

"Anyway... I don't think it's like that." He thinks of Maiza, hating himself all those years. Firo and all the Martillos still love him. He thinks of Ennis, still regretting all she's done. Firo and all the Martillos and Czes and Isaac and Miria still love her.

...And though he tries not to, he thinks of the little feral child he used to be, the one who never even thought about being okay with himself. Somehow, the Martillos loved him too.

He taps his fingers on the bar and shifts in his seat, both trying to organize his thoughts and to distance himself from that one.

"...Maybe people can't always give that to you if you don't like yourself, but... I think sometimes gettin' it from someone else first helps."
foundafamily: (pic#7644682)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-24 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head. "But that's what I mean--you don't need to do anything, it just kinda... comes to you."

Fills you right up, if he were comfortable enough to borrow the metaphor.

He sighs and looks off to the side. Who is he kidding? How can he help her when he's still so confused about how he even got to a place where he could love people?

"...I know it's stupid. But I think you've got some people like that, even if they're not her, so... Maybe you can use us to fake it?"

There's him here and Orion at her home, at least. That's a start and honestly more than Firo would've found likely.
foundafamily: (pic#6109224)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-25 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, she seems interested. Firo takes this as a good sign, even though he's actually not entirely sure how to go about this.

He scratches his head and shrugs. "Well... Okay, so, she doesn't like you bein' all down on yourself, right? So whenever you're gonna say somethin', think about if me or your brother'd get mad at you for it. And if we would, don't say it."

That sounds slightly better than he thought it would, though he still knows there must be something more he could recommend.
foundafamily: (1.1)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-25 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Rey assumes the worst about herself. News at 11.

Firo can't help but grin a little in amusement. "Hey, I think what you just said there wasn't all that bad... Try another on me, okay? And don't you dare shut up forever."

He never thought he'd be saying those words to someone. But he really does enjoy their chats and would be sad if they couldn't have them.
foundafamily: (Default)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-26 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
Firo gives her a mock pout at her imaginary zipper. Bro, please.

"What?" He shakes his head, but looks up smiling a moment later. "...I guess I should be glad, huh?"

But it's almost worse if it's so ingrained that that stuff just leaks out, isn't it?

He almost feels bad reviving their tired old debate, but it's the best example. He straightens in his seat and looks her dead in the eyes. "Well, don't say anything about not bein' human, to start."
foundafamily: (Default)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-28 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
He sighs. "Whaddaya mean 'that again'?" Even though Firo knows perfectly well that feeling of dismay that comes when someone revives a problem that you thought or hoped they'd decided to leave alone.

"I'm tellin' you, it's still important. And if you don't want her to think you hate yourself, it's a damn good place to start."

As he finishes, he realizes that he may also be speaking for his own sake as well as Faye's. Though he promised her a little while ago that they wouldn't yell and argue like he thought they had to after her little 'lookit me, I'm the traitor' stunt on the network, this isn't something that they can let slip.
foundafamily: (pic#7644682)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-29 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
In a stunning display of self-awareness, Firo knows that the reason those words make him want to punch a hole in the wall is because he's hearing a friend talk to flippantly about herself.

But it's just so hard to say that sometimes. Instead, he rolls hos eyes. "Right, because the rest of us "normal people" have no idea what the hell is goin' on and can't walk down the street without kickin' the bucket."

He pours another drink as he tries not to get too riled up. Rather, he takes a page from Luck's book and keeps his tone conversational. "There's another one, too. Start talkin' about doin' things for yourself, not just some other people."

Firo realizes that he's normally awfully preoccupied about that, even without the Family around. But it's different, his mind insists fiercely.
foundafamily: (pic#7645517)

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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-30 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Firo elects to ignore her first point. His humanity and durability aren't topics he cares to discuss right now.

He listens through her list, nodding stolidly at the end. "Yeah. You would. Because it doesn't matter what you're made of."

He's not budging on that. Never.

"That's great. It really is. Just watch how you go on about 'bein' useful to other people.'"

If he were the type to think about his words, he would have considered that wording more. Helping others is one of the most important things--he's call someone a selfish fuck if they tried to wiggle out of it. That is, if the person being helped deserved it. As far as he's concerned, a lot of the people Rey would help don't deserve it anymore.
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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-07-31 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Firo shrugs. "It makes perfect sense."

He watches her go for the drink. "Why's that?"

He's not sure if she's talking about what went on when she went back home or stuff on the ship. Either way, he can't come up with anything that makes sense, though he's obviously not privy to every detail of her life.
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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-08-02 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Firo bites back any number of retorts. Like hey, buddy, how about how he felt about that whole sabotage thing? But that would be too harsh, he thinks, and it would also require him to admit to those softer, more vulnerable emotions. No thanks.

Instead, he reaches across the table for her hand and, if she doesn't pull away, will set his fingers on the back of her wrist. He tries to shake off the feelings of frustration and instead focus on how he feels about Rey when she's not being a stubborn little mule.

Which is love. Love and fondness and happiness and no room for anything else.
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[personal profile] foundafamily 2015-08-04 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
"It's okay." He isn't quite sure what she means by 'can't,' because that could probably be a lot of things right now. He doesn't need the empathy link to know that she's struggling.

"I'll stop if you want." His expression is sober when he says that and he means it utterly. Physically, she's probably one of the people he's been most comfortable with in his life, but that's a small list to begin with. He'd still feel uncomfortable forcing anything on her.

He tilts his head and smiles just a little. "...But then I'd just say this all with words anyway, and that might be kinda annoyin' with how stupid I am with that stuff."

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